Dear Keith Olbermann,

You mock McCain for stating that Pakistan is a failed state. This is kind of misplaced and there are a number of other things you could legitimately make fun of him for.

Pakistan is ranked eighth on Foreign Policy and The Fund for Peace's Failed States Index. A state is deemed to have failed by the following criteria:

• mounting demographic pressures
• massive movement of refugees and internally displaced peoples
• legacy of vengeance - seeking group grievance
• chronic and sustained human flight
• uneven economic development along group lines
• sharp and/or severe economic decline
• criminalisation and delegitimisation of the state
• progressive deterioration of public services
• widespread violation of human rights
• security apparatus as "state within a state"
• rise of factionalised elites
• intervention of other states or external actors

Now, that comes from the first goddamn thing my dumb, half-remembering ass typed into a popular, efficient search engine. And despite my miraculous laziness, I have figured this out; despite the tempting piece of fruit that is John McCain saying something stupid about foreign policy, I have resisted. Because, Keith, Pakistan has had a few bureaucratical snafus over the last decade or so. I've gathered as much from casual observation. So it didn't seem like that much of a stretch and lo and behold the marvels of the modern age have shown me the wonder of truth.

Thems the breaks, though. The ability to perceive grey areas and humility alone have yet to land me a high-ratings vehicle through which to bloviate and be incredibly condescending.

So please give me a job after this election, okay? When properly groomed I am quite decorative and especially suited in social functions to the distribution of small edibles with charm and with wit.

Thank you,

Benjamin Estes (age 8)