This is the greatest piece of unintentional satire ever written since the last M. Night Shamalyan movie. Hitchypoo has a real big problem with waiters interrupting his - no doubt exhausting to have to feign interest in - stories by DARING to pour the bottle of wine into everyone's glasses. I quote:
The other night, I was having dinner with some friends in a fairly decent restaurant and was at the very peak of my form as a wit and raconteur. But just as, with infinite and exquisite tantalizations, I was approaching my punch line, the most incredible thing happened.....What he did instead was to interrupt the feast of reason and flow of soul that was our chat, lean across me, pick up the bottle of wine that was in the middle of the table, and pour it into everyone's glass. And what I want to know is this: How did such a barbaric custom get itself established, and why on earth do we put up with it?
Now, in accordance with the type of decency apparently reserved for us lesser folk, he should keep in mind that in the time it took him to write this, about a dozen neoconservative bloggers called for the immediate execution of every single prisoner in Gitmo as retaliation against the SCOTUS. So, let's try to keep the hyperbole re: barbarism in check, ok?
This is seriously the most laughably bourgeoisie complaint I have ever heard. Apparently, to cut off at the pass people like me who would criticize Hitchy of being the snob, The Most Articulate, Witty and Gallant Man on the Planet decries from the opposite end of the spectrum the audacity of these servants who usurp the manly art of inebriating one's date to steady her against the continuous buffeting of their senses from the dull gray waves of ones banal sense of self-satisfaction. You see, the distribution of alcohol by anyone other than the alpha male is yet another insidious plot of servers to pad the bill by expediting the intake of alcohol and therefore disrupting the delicate balance between drunk-enough-to-find-you-interesting and on the verge of unconciousness - which would, honestly, contradict the entire point Hitchens would have of getting anyone drunk: to offset the inevitable boredom anyone who is sober would experience on the receiving end of his opinions.
Ok.
Christopher Hitchens is a provocateur and should not be taken seriously. How is it that he has a job at Slate again? After being on the - obvious from the start - wrong side of one of the stupidest foreign policy moves in our nation's rich history of idiotic, self-delusional and messianic military adventures, how is that anyone takes him seriously??
With articles like these, though, it seems as if he's taunting his audience to fully realize the inanity of his intellect. What a fucking douche.
2 comments:
interesting find with this hitchens foul-up.
id like to hear your take on his recent comments about obama being a megalomaniac
I'm not familiar with the context in which he brought that up. Was it in reaction to Obama's race speech? I seem to remember him (Hitchens) throwing one of his typically hyperbolic tantrums and decrying the speech as vastly overrated and boring.
My opinion of Hitchens is that he's so desperately trying to stay relevant through this faux-maverick identity that it's just damned embarrassing. I mean, he was for the Iraq War simply because it was going against the grain of his previous political and philosophical beliefs. The man used to be a far-left Trotskyite, and when that became too boring or passe he ended up where he is now.
So, yeah. His writing reminds me of the type of arrogant declarations of controversial opinions I used to spout when I was a teenager. He really needs to grow up.
Post a Comment